No news is good news! That is, I have no interesting news or tidbits to report on this month, aside from that we have a new President and so far I am impressed with what he’s doing... mainly reversing all of George W. Bush’s policies, closing down the U.S. torture factories, and reducing the price of Corn Flakes. That’s basically everything I was hoping for. Since I have no rock’n’roll stories or gossip this month I will go back to my old “Huggy Talk” format of answering some interesting questions that have rolled into the “Huggy Talk” inbox via the myspace. As you know, I am willing to answer any question about anything that you readers send in, because I am a man of the people and to prove to you that I am a man of wit. So here we go, let’s rocket!
Dear Huggy Blow,
If you were on death row and granted a last meal, what would it be? (appetizer, main course, dessert, beverage)
- Richie Wristrokkit (San Antonio, TX)
I’m pretty sure I would never kill a man, at least not intentionally, but if I found myself on Death Row I would insist upon the following for my last meal: first, I would start off with a nice big bowl of Fruit Loops served with 2% milk, two slices of sour dough toast with apricot jam, and one dozen hard boiled eggs with salt and pepper. I do love my hard boiled eggs upon occasion. Next, I would insist upon one Jack in the Box Jumbo Jack -- still the best “value burger” on the planet -- with a side order of onion rings with that tangy sauce that comes with them, one dill pickle, and a peanut butter milkshake with a cherry on top. Upon finishing that portion, I would consume one quarter pizza with sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms, and an extra thick crust, three Taco Bell Chicken Taco Supremes, one half bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken extra crispy, two Kellogs Strawberry Poptarts, and a bowl of lowfat cottage cheese served with sliced peaches and a dash of cinnamon. Finally, I would finish my meal with a bowl of Spaghettios -- just like mom used to make back in the day -- and a plate of steamed broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots topped with melted butter and Parmesan cheese. For my dessert I would have one slice of blackberry pie, one scoop of peppermint candy ice cream, one bag of Peanut Butter M&Ms, and half a maple bar. After this satisfying meal I would wash my palate with a six pack of good old Coors Light, the Silver Bullet. That’s right, Richie... nothing but the best for me!
Dear Huggy Blow,
I’m learning to work in the music industry as a model and writer, and am networking from a small town far from LA. What are some things I can do to pump up my exposure besides throw up half nude pics? Any advice as a current rock star?
- KK Cameron (Prundale, CA)
Dear KK Cameron,
I don’t know about the “current rock star” part, but here’s how you can get exposure without showing off your frosty nips... first, start writing for an underground, alternative magazine and write about yourself, your world, and the people that live in it. Next, if you have a video camera and a little gumption produce your own public access TV show and get yourself on the TV screen. Make your show all about you, your world, and the people that live in it. It’s easy to do. Finally, occasionally release half nude postcards of yourself. This has all worked for me, that’s how Huggy Blow has become the household word that it is today. Good luck with your career!
That’s it for this month, those were the only two questions worth answering this month and I didn’t feel like making any questions up myself this time. To fill up the rest of the space in this column I will run another picture of Jimmy Flame - notorious singer/songwriter, wrestler, and occasional tap dancer. Enjoy!
HUGGY BLOW’S FASHION TIP OF THE MONTH: Diamond chokers never go out of style. Suitable for women AND men alike.
Got a question for Huggy Blow? Got naked pictures of your hot mom? Email them to Huggy at firstname.lastname@example.org or hit him up on myspace at myspace.com/paulblow.