IT'S ONLY ROCK'N'ROLL, BUT I LIKE IT! It was awesome seeing L.A. GUNS (the Tracii Guns version) at the El Corazon last month, probably the best rock show I've seen this year so far. The last time I saw L.A. Guns was back in 1994 at the Rock Candy, and I swear I've never seen so much black hair dye in one place at one time as at that show. In fact, I don't think they let anyone in without the proper black hair. Times have changed and at the El Corazon I was probably the only one with dyed black hair and Tracii Guns was the only remaining original member of the group (he seems to have surrounded himself with some very young Guns for this lineup) but they still put on an amazing show and it was mighty fine to hear all the classic L.A. Guns songs that I loved back in the day, songs like "Rip N Tear," "Electric Gypsy," and "One More Reason." The singer couldn't quite hit the high notes the way Phil Lewis did, but it was truly inspiring watching Tracii Guns shredding the axe and enjoying himself on stage, a true seasoned professional. In fact, I felt like I was watching Keith Richards as Tracii looked like Keith Richards in Pirates of the Caribbean with a soul patch. Heck, Tracii even sported the same wrinkles as Keith. Watching him in action was well worth the $25.00 admission price and it made my night. Also on the bill was Faster Pussycat, local rockers Zero Down, and DJ Sammi Curr, who as it turns out is "hot" Josh, beloved bartender at the Chupacabra and guitar shredder for HIMSA. Sammi Curr, if you didn't know, is the lead character in the 1986 rock'n'roll horror flick Trick or Treat, "starring" Ozzy Osbourne and Gene Simmons. I bought my copy of the flick on DVD for five bucks at the local Fred Myer and I recommend it highly for some cheesy cheap laughs.
In other non-Rock related news, I took some time off being Huggy Blow last month for some serious maxin' and relaxin' down at Ocean Shores where I recharged the proverbial batteries (whatever that means), built sand castles by the sea, rocked the waves on my "Diamond" boogie board, hot tubbed with nubile young girls, and swam with the seals. It was truly a spiritual experience...
Now on to the questions that have rolled into the Huggy Talk inbox:
Dear Huggy,
Question for da player: if a women is offering more than friendship and a gentleman isn't interested can he say no and yet remain friends with her?
- Mysterious Stranger. (Marysville)
Dear Mysterious Stranger,
You were right to come to me... If you reject your woman friend's advances it will probably hurt her feelings and that will put a definite damper on your friendship. That's always been my experience. However, you could always give her a good screw after downing a few brewskis, then play it off later as something you did while drunk and your friendship can remain intact. That's been my experience too. If you REALLY do not want to have sexual relations with her under any circumstances my advice would be you don't need her friendship after all. Personally I'd go for option number two and if you do that don't forget to wear a HUGGY BLOW condom.
Dear Huggy,
I read your "summer time drink of the month" tip in the July Sinner issue and have been drinking Grape Kool-aid as you recommended, but my crap has been neon green ever since! What have you done to me???
- Billy Bob Thorngarden (Seattle)
Dear Billy Bob, Yes, neon green crapola is a side effect of drinking too much Grape Kool-aid (TM). I forgot to mention that... sorry! But it is interesting to look at, isn't it, my friend?
HUGGY BLOW'S "BACK TO SCHOOL" TIP OF THE MONTH: A six-pack of Coors Light given discreetly to your Community College professor can mean the difference between a "B" and an "A" on your mid-term exams.
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Due to space limitations, Paul Ace Diamond "Huggy" Blow will only answer questions that he has written himself. However, feel free to send comments, suggestions, or naked photos of your hot mom to him at paulblow@gmail.com. But don't expect a response -- due to time limitations he never actually checks that email account.
September 2008