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Spider Venom

sampled by Matthew Gorman

Just in time for Halloween comes a story from Australia concerning the creepiest vice ever known to man. Inmates at Grafton Maximum Security Prison in New South Wales have been milking spiders for their venom and then shooting up the substance diluted with water in their ingenious efforts to cop a buzz. An inmate spilled the beans after four spiders were discovered inside a jar in the prison’s plant nursery.

The spiders in question were Australian Redback Spiders (Latrodectus hasselti), and are the third most poisonous spider in the world after the Funnelweb Spider (also an Australian native) and the Brazilian Wandering Spider. The genus Latrodectus also includes Black Widows, and like the Black Widow Spider the Redback female is the far more dangerous than the male. Males have such small fangs they are usually no threat to humans. A single female bite, however, can easily kill a child or an elderly person, and holds seriously repercussions for even the healthiest of humans.

Prison officials vehemently deny the inmate’s claim, saying that the spiders were simply kept as pets albeit against prison rules. But since we all know that people who run prisons are generally lying scumbags, and since inmates like getting fucked up no matter what, I believe it’s more than likely that the injections did occur. Talk about your nasty habits!