Can someone explain to me what the hell’s going on around here? I was always under the impression that America was founded on certain principles of freedom. But it seems that these days anyone with a two-bit gripe and a lawyer can change the idea of those freedoms without taking into account what damage is being done.

Take Joseph Connor, a 37 year-old New Haven Connecticut man who can’t get a job at McDonalds. Normally trying to get a job at McDonalds would be the punch line of some sad joke and not the set up. But these aren’t normal times.

Joseph Connor weighs 420 pounds and he’s been involved in a two-year court battle with the McDonalds’ burger chain because they refuse to give him a job. I have a couple of issues with this. First off, when the hell did it become unacceptable for an employer to hire the best person for the job? Take the Florida Marlins for example. They fired their manager Jeff Toborg and hired Jack McKeon. Now baseball commissioner Bud Selig is investigating whether or not the Marlins followed the minority-hiring guideline, which states that a team has to provide a list of minority candidates for job openings. Then the commissioner’s office has to review the candidates before the team itself can go forward and hire someone.

The Marlins just wanted to hire Jack McKeon. They fired a guy that was losing games and hired a guy who has been proven to win games.

Now they’re in trouble. The team could be fined up to two million dollars if they are found guilty.

You know, everyone always cries about how there shouldn’t be any more racism, ageism or sexism, but what ends up coming out of these pity parties is a complete joke. I agree that everyone should get a fair shake and “ism’s” of any kind bother the hell out of me. But are we so afraid to offend people that instead of thinking with common sense we’ve started thinking with our tear ducts.

Let’s not beat around the bush here either folks, wouldn’t letting a 420 pound guy run the grill at Mickey D’s be like letting Charlie Sheen manage a Hooter’s? It’s just not good business sense. Connor claims that his is a clear-cut case of “lookism” and is suing under the Americans with Disabilities Act saying that his weight is classified as a disability and that McDonald’s is violating his rights by refusing to hire him.

What’s next? Incompetentism? Jerkism? People can’t get a job because they’re socially retarded? Hell, you could sue for that one under the Americans with Disabilities Act too! It says “retarded” right in the title of your affliction.

I’m thinking about suing the Boston Red Sox, although I never tried out, I think I’d make a great first baseman for them–problem is I suffer from lazyism.

People have adopted such a hard core “Me First” mentality these days that they’ve completely lost their common sense. It’s also taking away the ability to see the big picture. In the amount of time and energy that Mr. Connor has spent trying to get his McMillions, I’m sure the people at Subway would have been more than happy to hire him. Six months down the road we’d all have some stupid Joseph Connor jingle stuck in our heads after he lost 250 pounds by working at Subway. Come on, you know that one ups that annoying Jared guy.

If Joseph Connor was black–or Latin, Asian, etc.–and he didn’t get hired, or if he wasn’t getting hired because of his sex or his age, there’d be no punch line here. Thats just not funny. But Mr. Connor is fat. I don’t see him suing the good people over at The Gap. Why? Because he didn’t apply for a job at The Gap. Why? Because you can’t eat a pair stone washed jeans with a sixty inch waist.

Less than two percent of obese people are that way for medical reasons, and that’s what bothers me. Could you walk into The Four Season’s Hotel and get a concierge job with two pounds of metal studs stuck in your face? No. No, you couldn’t. But there’s this attitude that people deserve things, and that’s what’s going to be the implosion of this country. Every time someone cries wolf and sues for some ridiculous “ism” it’s creating more of an enabling mind set.

Speaking as someone that could stand to lose a few pounds, I understand Mr. Connor’s plight. But maybe instead of picking up legal precedent he should pick up his legs and start walking around a little. You know Mr. Connor, the McLife you save might be your own.

Yours Chaotically-
C-