text by Paul Ace Diamond “Huggy” Blow
with special guest Keef Richards

IT’S GOOD TO BE BACK! Did you miss me? I spent last month in the studio with Jack Endino recording a new CD with my band, in fact while we were there I tossed a few juicy questions to Jack that I hope to publish in a future column, so stay tuned for that! I hope you were all good toward my friend Cornelius Zephyr who was kind enough to fill in for me in last month’s column, and you’ll all be happy to know that Cornelius has moved to Los Angeles where he hooked up with one of last month’s female letter writers and is reviving his show-biz career by appearing in a 2008 version of Hollywood Squares. I’m excited as well to have as a special guest this month my good friend and rock’n’roll idol Keef Richards, who will help me answer questions that have rolled into the HUGGY TALK inbox. So let’s have at it, shall we? Are you ready, Keef?

Keef Richards pipes in: Ready when you are, mate!

Dear Huggy,
I love your column! Tell me, am I sexy enough to be a Huggyslut? The ape you had writing your column last month didn’t think so, but what do YOU think? (Nude photo attached with email) —Huggyslut Wannabee (Seattle)

Dear Huggyslut Wannabee,
Judging by your photo I’d say you’re a super-sexy hot mamasita with some mojo in your gojo and would make an excellent Huggyslut. What do you think, Keef?

Keef Richards pipes in: You got that right, mate!

Dear Huggy,
Troubles at my new job... my boss is a fifty-year-old married man and he has the habit of groping my breasts whenever he gets the chance. I need the job and make good money, so how should I handle this? I asked this question last month but the chimp who filled in for you gave me some bad advice so I’m writing again.
—Stephanie (Bellevue)

Dear Stephanie,
There’s a recession on right now if you haven’t noticed. Gas is approaching four bucks a gallon, milk is right up there too, the price of eggs has doubled since last year. And have you seen the price of Cocoa Krispies lately? Not to mention that my 401k plan is losing more money than I’m putting in! According to the Mayan calendar the End of Days is near, at least that’s what I’m hearing on the street, and you come to me with this? I think you should grin and bear it. What do you say, Keef?

Keef Richards pipes in: Can’t argue with that, mate!

Dear Huggy,
Here’s a question for Keef Richards... is it true, Keef, that you once snorted your own dead father’s ashes??? And what about falling out of a coconut tree while on vacation in Fiji... what the hell were you doing up there???
—Tommy Knocker (Seattle)

Dear Tommy Knocker,
Thanks for the questions, but I don’t think Keef really wants to talk about that... how about it, Keef?

Keef Richards pipes in: Ha ha, Huggy Blow, you’re a real cut-up, mate! But I’d say you hit the bloody nail on the bloody head right there!

That’s it for this month, check out next months column for more saucy fresh tidbits and big thanks to Keef Richards for being my special guest.

Keef Richards pipes in: It was my pleasure, mate. Thanks for having me!

HUGGY BLOW’S FASHION TIP OF THE MONTH: Bandanas and skull rings never go out of style, mates... wear one today!
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Got a question for Huggy Blow? Got naked pictures of your hot mom? Email them to Huggy at paulblow@gmail.com or hit him up on myspace at myspace.com/paulblow.