Happy 2008, ladies and gentlemens! Did your holidays rock like Don Dokken? Mine did. I had a very excellent time at the Jules Maes Christmas variety show where my acoustic show set off a chain reaction of wet panties. I also took to the stage to play drums for a cover of “Ace of Spades” along with guitar stud Fred Speakman, bass stud Otis P. Otis, and singing stud Nils Scurvy. Bet you didn’t know I could rock the drums, did ya? What can I say, I’m a master of all trades and the night was a total blast. News Years Eve was also a fabulous time at the Funhouse where the peeps partied down and boogied to the grooves, although since I’m writing this in advance I’m just predicting that I had a good time there. Now everybody and their mother are publishing their “top ten of 2007” lists and what the hell, I’ve got some lists too, but I’m going to keep them extremely short and extremely ridiculous, because I’m sexy like that. So without further ado here are my 2007/2008 lists... dig if you will!

HUGGY’S BEST OF 2007 LIST
Best bartender of 2007... Lawrence at the Victory Lounge
Best rock show of 2007... Paul Stanley at the Showbox.
Best hot dog of 2007... 7-11 Big Bite. It’s the rocket bomb.
Best potato chip of 2007... Pringles, original recipe. Yum yum.
Best local guitar player of 2007... Lou Muluch (Neon Nights)

WHAT’S IN, WHAT’S OUT FOR 2008
1) Tighty whiteys are IN... they’re not just for gays and geeks any more!
2) Betty Page haircuts are OUT... girls, time to let those bangs grow.
3) Leopard print is IN... it never goes out of style, now does it?
4) Nu Metal is OUT... because I said so. Do not buy any Korn this year.
5) Purple jumpsuits are IN... jump on this fashion craze before everyone else does.
6) “Tagging” is OUT... all you 15-year old hip-hop-wannabees please find something
more constructive to do with your time, we’re all tired of your unreadable scribbles.
7) Myspace “pirate pics” are IN... I miss them, let’s bring them back this year.
8) Birkenstock sandals with wool socks are OUT... please, let’s end this fashion fiasco
once and for all. Do you hear me, yuppies? Do you HEAR MEEE???

HUGGY’S GOALS FOR 2008
1) Organize my white sock collection by date of purchase.
2) Appear on the Conan O’Brian show to “promote the new album.”
3) Perform a spoken word duet with William Shatner.
4) Put out new line of “Huggy Blow tighty-whiteys” underwear for men and women. Slogan will be “They’re white, hug tight, and are outasight!”
5) Publish “The Huggy Blow Cookbook: 101 Ways To Serve Microwave Popcorn.”
6) Finally sing GNR’s “November Rain” at a karaoke bar and not suck.

HUGGY’S PREDICTIONS FOR 2008
I guarantee that at least one of these will come true this year...

As the dumbing down of American television continues, the number one TV show will be “Celebrity Ass,” in which the asses of celebrities old and young are documented, displayed and examined by a panel of judges. The low point of the series will be the Roseanne Barr/William Shatner episode in which judge Simon Cowell bares his ass and wet farts. In the world of music, the top selling CD will be by new teen-idol group “the Bratz Dolls.” Their live show will suck, however, as they will be represented on stage by life-sized puppets lip-syncing to the CD and the strings will be visible. In the world of politics, George W. Bush will circumvent the Constitution once again and run for a third term, but will lose to Oprah-endorsed Democratic nominee RuPaul who will become America’s first black, transgendered president. The Village People will reunite to perform at the Inauguration. In other news, aliens will make themselves known to us in a grand display of power by turning the state of Nebraska into a giant crop circle but the American public will never know this because the latest Britney Spears news will dominate the headlines that week. Also, Eric Estrada will reinvent himself as a peacemaker and try to solve the Middle East conflict, but will fail miserably, start World War III, and go back to appearing in infomercials. Lastly, Ozzy Osbourne will follow Queen Latifah’s lead and release a “smooth jazz” album, the hit being his version of “Captain of Her Heart,” and Lemmy of Motorhead will undergo cosmetic surgery to have his boils removed but in an unfortunate act due to miscommunication the doctors will remove his balls instead.
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Got a question for Huggy Blow? Got naked pictures of your hot mom? Email them to Huggy at paulblow@gmail.com or hit him up on myspace at myspace.com/paulblow.