written Kenmar Bual

Feb 2003

When a friend asked me to interview “someone interesting” around the hill, the obvious names came to mind. “Interesting,” to me, would be someone who makes a difference. Simple equation. Thrusting forth from within the swirling mass of Capitol Hill’s social universe, Mr. Leather emitted the type of positive energy that aroused my burning desire, more, curiosity to penetrate his cerebral core. During the few times I’d been out in recent months, it was easy to see his easy-going nature as he made the rounds. “Is it all about image?” I wondered out loud to my boys Elvis and Oscar (being rottweilers, they’re all too familiar with misconceptions and stereotypes). “It’d be such a waste…” “Then find out!” barked Elvis. Oscar wagged his stubby tail in agreement.

So I called my friend Greg who knew Art & Larry who put me in touch with Tony Buff. Woof was more like it. Small world. With its own Mt. Everest, I couldn’t help but notice. Woof again. We chatted as follows…

Interviewer (I): Thanks for taking time out from your busy schedule to talk to an amateur in the urban scene. Forgive my ignorance but before I saw you, I pictured someone a bit different... something like a hairy, muscular, dungeon guard type from Lord of The Rings.
Mr. Leather (ML): [Laughing.] Expectations and perceptions are funny that way, but I’m sure you’re not the only one that shares that particular image. There is still a certain mystique associated with Leatherfolk – the backroom of a bar in the red light district or the hooded figure in a dimly lit dungeon – it excites the imagination with an exploration of the unfamiliar and forbidden. [This last bit punctuated with a wicked, little smile that seems to invite temptation. Then changing gears:] Truth be told, taking on the title surprised a lot of people – I think I’ve challenged a lot of expectations and perceptions since taking on the title.

I: How so?
ML: My partner, Tim and I share a common view of life as multi-faceted. There are the personal, professional, and social aspects of our lives. We share in a broad community of family and friends with unique backgrounds and interests. For me, personally, it makes life’s journey much more exciting and rewarding. But, it also means that Tim and I are many things to many people. Does that make sense? [After a nod of understanding] Being the 2002 Washington State Mr. Leather has exposed much of my life to public view and I think that has reinforced the notion that individuals and communities are far more than just appearances.

I: What exactly is a Mr. Leather and what are your responsibilities?
ML: What exactly is a Mr. Leather? That’s a tough question to answer because I believe serving, as a title holder, like any other challenge in life, is exactly what you make of it. Each person brings their own unique set of talents and skills to an endeavor. It’s up to them, with some guidance and support from others, to determine how to best utilize those strengths. I can tell you that as Washington State Mr. Leather, I help represent the WSMLO – that’s the Washington State Mr./Ms. Leather Organization, the non-profit that sponsors the Mr. And Ms. titles. We help raise funds for other non-profit organizations through various events and provide educational forums on a variety of health and social issues that impact the community. Toward that end we are primarily responsible for making a variety of public appearances and sponsoring or hosting two fundraisers during our title year.

I: When were you selected and for how long?
ML: The Washington State Mr./Ms. Leather contest is held during the last weekend in March as part of Washington State Leather Pride Week. Lillia, the 2002 Washington State Ms. Leather and I were selected during the contest last March and will serve until the 2003 title holders are selected on March 29th.

I: So you’ve only got a few months left. Are you looking forward to stepping down?
ML: No, absolutely not. I’ve really enjoyed the past nine months – it’s been a wonderful experience. Tim and I have met some great people and developed some extraordinary relationships. It’s been a tremendous opportunity to step up in a very public way and make a positive impact on people’s lives. We’ve been directly and indirectly involved in efforts that have raised literally tens of thousands of dollars for community based non-profit organizations, which is very impressive. But more importantly, we’ve touched, and been touched by, countless individuals. There’s no way I could possibly express here how profound an impact this year has had on me. There’s no doubt in my mind that I’ll miss it.

I: After you complete your title year, you have the option of going to compete for the International Mr. Leather title in Chicago. Are you going to compete?
ML: I haven’t decided yet. I understand that competing at IML is an amazing experience, but it’s not the reason I ran for the State title. I ran for Washington State Mr. Leather because I recognized it as an opportunity to make a contribution here, locally in our own community. It’s one thing to act locally in the community you know and quite another on the international scale. The time commitment and personal expenditures required are fairly cost prohibitive. More importantly, I have to consider the impact the competition and a possible win would have on my relationship with Tim. That takes precedence over everything.

I: It sounds like you’re leaning toward not competing?
ML: No. I’m just saying there are some important considerations that are being factored in my decision.

I: Did you grow up in the Seattle area?
ML: No. I grew up in Southern California – the beach cities of Los Angeles mostly.

I: When did you move to Capitol Hill?
ML: After high school I joined the Marine Corps and served in the reserves while I went to college [California State University, Long Beach]. When the Golf War broke out I volunteered and went TAD [on Temporary Active Duty]. During that time my family moved to Washington, so when I got out, I moved up here. That was about –what? – Eleven years ago.

I: Do you feel the Seattle gay community is more socially cohesive now than, say, (5) / (10) years ago?
ML: It’s different. [A thoughtful smile crosses his face.] I’ve discovered that communities, like relationships, evolve and change over time. Ten years ago we were organizing against a pretty viable threat to our civil rights. In 1993, we were rallying against the first of four initiative modeled after Oregon’s infamous Measure 9 that proposed to legalize discrimination based on a person’s perceived sexual orientation. That makes for a very visibly united community. Over time, that visibility, like the threat itself, waned. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have a strong community. For me, well, I define my community by the people I choose to share my life with. When I look around and I see my friends helping each other. I see people sharing their experiences and knowledge to help guide each other through rough times. I see dedicated professionals and volunteers building a community center, providing a safe space for at risk youth, and services that promote healthy choices. I see businesses and individuals that volunteer time and give money – even in these tough economic times – to the organizations they believe in. So, when I look around I guess I see a pretty cohesive community.

I: What are some ways you've been able to reach out to the general public-- for example, to educate people about HIV, equal rights, and other issues we face daily?
ML: I’m a firm believer in the power of personal interaction. I’d say the vast majority of what I’ve been doing as Washington State Mr. Leather has been focused on outreach. Sure, the fundraising is important, but even at those types of events I’m most comfortable and effective working the crowd, interacting with people. I’ll give you an example. You asked about HIV. In my mind that immediately triggers a dialogue about safety– and I mean a two-way conversation about being safe, sane, and consensual. I tend to be very open and honest about things. I’ll talk about how Tim and I deal with those issues. Then I’ll ask you how you deal with them. I can’t count the number of times that’s led to an impromptu discussion involving several people right in the middle of a bar. It’s a free flow of information and ideas – with a ripple effect. I know I’ve learned a lot by those interactions and people tell me they’ve gotten a lot out of them, too.

I: In what ways can gays and lesbians be more supportive of their communities, their leaders?
ML: [Shaking his head.] I’m not in the habit of telling people I don’t even know what they should or shouldn’t do. [Pause.] Fact of the matter is, most people know how to be supportive of their communities and express that regularly through their actions. And those who don’t aren’t going to change because of any platitudes I could offer about respecting each other or giving service back to the community. People are motivated to it by the actions of others and the expectations set by those closest to them. Which brings me to the second part of your question. I don’t believe that our community’s respect and support is something just given to a leader – it’s something the leader has to earn through the example he or she sets. If you understand a situation, can motivate a group of people to achieve a common goal, and deliver results – you’ll win their support.

I: Everyone who knows you says you're the nicest guy around. How do you stay that way when you're making the rounds?[Is that a blush?]
ML: Thank you, that’s really nice to hear. Most of the time it’s pretty easy. I love interacting with people – I get a real kick out of it. But there are times when it’s more difficult – when fatigue or the stress of the day starts weighing in. When that happens I remind myself the true test of a man’s character comes in times of challenge and I try to muster the endurance to push through with a positive attitude. Then, if for whatever reason that doesn’t work – I know it’s time to take it home.

I: How would you describe yourself?
ML: In broad terms: intelligent, emotionally stable and physically fit. I’m a very independent person but also recognize a desire to be part of – and contribute to –something larger than myself. I’m attracted to and value integrity, fidelity, and service to one’s self and community. On the flip side: I tend to intellectualize things rather than feel them and have a hard time opening up to people on an intimate level sometimes. And, I have absolutely no patience for anyone who lies or fails to keep his word.

I: What makes your partner, Tim so special?
ML: He puts up with my shit and lets me be who I am. We share a common understanding and values. He’s a source of stability and encouragement. He balances me emotionally with compassion and empathy. He’s not afraid to explore new things and challenge his own boundaries. [Pause.] He loves me so much it almost hurts. [Pause.] And he’s about the sexiest mother –ummm – person I’ve ever met.

I: I promised Elvis and Oscar I’d ask… any pets, I mean, kids?
ML: One, Odessa, she’s a Collie. I know, not the butchest dog in the world.

I: So what’s the butchest thing about you?
ML: [Smiling.] That I don’t let other people define my masculinity.

I: Favorite place to relax?
ML: The gym – I know it sounds funny, but working out really helps me work out my frustrations and focus in on me. That’s why I like to work out alone.

I: What’s the last CD you listened to?
ML: I’ve got the original BBC Queer as Folk soundtrack playing in my truck now.

I: What are you’re plans for Valentine’s Day?
ML: We’re going to spend it in Vancouver, BC with one of our friends. I don’t think we’ll be going out much.

And with that last, mischievous grin, our interview ended.