Crystalessence Chubby G

by Lace Collier

Wondering what kind of Christmas gift to buy for that special girl in your life? She already has jewelry, and she doesn’t like makeup. You always manage to get clothes she hates, and the pony you gave her last year died of starvation. Maybe its time to try something new.

It’s squishy, it’s chubby, it’s pink, and it vibrates. I’m talking about the Chubby G, the Sinners featured novelty toy for Christmas. This delightful massager just may tickle her fancy in exactly the way she craves.

While I have a preference for leather items, everyone needs at least one good vibrator; this may be it. The Chubby G is a well-rounded jack-of-all-trades.

It’s nice and thick, but not too thick. The end is properly curved for seeking out the G-spot, though I have to admit I didn’t find mine while testing this toy. Turning the shaft around a bit did cause some interesting sensations.

The mechanical action is controlled by twisting the end to its many variable settings. These range from what vibrator? to a bone-tingling “Whee! Vibro-power, Activate!

Changing the speed setting wasn’t always entirely smooth. Sometimes it would jump too quickly from Medium-Hum to Severe-Rattle with nothing in between.

There is a wicked-looking cuff with stimulating nubs just below the middle of the shaft. I found that I couldn’t really feel it when the device was fully inserted. This could have been due to the distractions caused by the more technological aspects of the toy.

The rubbery “Crystalessence" material feels a bit like Barbie legs. It’s soft and squishy so as not to offend any tender parts. While bright pink, it’s also transparent, so you can see its secret inner places as it sees yours. It does have a strange chemical smell, which is almost annoying, but not quite. If you have a good imagination, it smells like maraschino cherries. Or something.

Because it’s waterproof, it is recommended that you twist the cap on good and tight when replacing the batteries so nothing will leak.

One note about the packaging picture - I could be wrong, but behind the fake blonde bimbo, I could swear there’s a statue of two slugs making out. What’s up with that?

Since its not made of leather and didn’t give me goose bumps like a Human Ear Nibbler can, I give the Chubby G three wet panties. I'd suggest she wrap this present herself, while you demonstrate your Oral Stimulator on her neck.