review by Jackie Kaufman

For those of you who may not know what a blue movie is, then it's time to learn something new. This is merely an old fashioned term for pornography. Since I'm free to write a review on any film I choose, I had to ask myself why would I want to write about a subject that would make certain unnamed members of my family hyperventilate? To be perfectly honest, I do so enjoy the shock and horror that some of my relatives are forced to experience due to the fact that I'm the most open-minded one of the bunch. Plus, I’m happy to say that being a 39-year-old mother of three doesn't keep me from watching blue movies whenever I've had a mind to; although one of my biggest gripes about this type of film is the way that the women usually look – big hair and humongous fake breasts, much like a drunk Barbie who's ready for a rip-roaring gang bang.

I know there's some of you out there who could happily digress into fantasyland over the latter part of that statement, but I'll ignore that and carry on. Which brings me to one of the reasons that this film is an absolute favorite of mine. This history is a collection of blue movies dated from 1915 to 1975, with the focus being on the older ones. Since breast implants didn't start running rampant until the latter part of the century, the women in this have bodies firmly planted in reality. The older films are by far the most interesting because of their striking differences to modern day versions. Their focus is more on flirtatiousness and humor rather than relying on the sex alone. The music itself puts a smile on your face, and their abundance of clothing (at certain moments) provides some comic adventures.

In "A Free Ride", one of the few surviving films of its age (1915), the male character offers a ride in his motorcar to 2 ladies. The threesome than proceed to belt down some booze, spy on each others frolicsome activities, and commune with nature. And no, that doesn’t mean sex with any cute little forest creatures! Although the next film "On the Beach" has sexual antics that include a goat, a guy, and three girls. I'm definitely not into the farm animal thing myself, but the premise of the film is to be much more funny than sexual, and under those circumstances it all works. In "The Janitor" (from the 1920's or 30's), a tipsy hotel janitor decides to spend some time peeping into the keyholes of various rooms. He's treated to the sight of everything from a woman bathing to a threesome.

The last of the much older films "Buried Treasure" is a special treat. It was made in the late 20's, and due to the extreme high cost of animation, it's very rare. The focus in this film is the main character's inability to keep his penis attached to his body. His oversized appendage keeps mischievously running off and forging on ahead before the rest of his body can catch up! Well, there's some psychological food for thought buried in there…

The next 2 films on this historical tour are from the late 50's and early 60's, and are famous in their own right. The first is called "Smart Alec" and after seeing this one, I decided that the cheesy music trend used in more modern pornography must have started in the 50's. In "The Nun Story", the opening and closing scenes depict the female star dressed as a nun. A nun with a vibrator and a real man. Hallelujah! The last part of the history is a couple of tedious, completely forgettable films from the 70's in which they all should have left their clothes on. Other than that slight digression from greatness, I would highly recommend taking this history tour, especially for those that prefer their blue movie viewing to be a little softer around the edges and easier to swallow… If you're interested in finding this film, try Blue Video on Aurora Ave.