by Lady Ash
Dec 2002

Beginning this issue, I will be writing a series of articles on my chosen lifestyle. I come across the full range of human behavior at it’s best and worst. I will be discussing various fetishes and kinks as well as my own opinions on the politics of sex. You will be sharing in my experiences and views all, of course, filtered through the utmost discretion.

I have been in the lifestyle for 11 years and came up in a very traditional way. I started as a bottom/masochist under a variety of wonderful Masters and Tops. While not every experience was the ideal, I learned more every time. I greatly admire the Ones who brought me in and opened the doors for me. As an untried 17-year-old, I was sure I had all the answers and no one could tell me anything. I’d read everything I could get my hands on and was sure I knew what it was all about. I could not have been more wrong.

I was brash enough to come on to a Top I had been following around a local alternative bookstore. She was amazing; not too tall, but powerfully built and radiating a quiet command. She sized me up in half a second and decided she would “take me to school.” I lied about my age and we began a relationship. I learned more about the depths of my self in those 19 months than I thought possible.

As I moved around the country for education and employment, I broadened my horizons in the Scene. I learned to Top first as a bottom, then as a Co-Top. Another Top and I would inflict ourselves on a willing masochist or bottom and the real fun would begin. Learning by example is by far the best way. We could play off each other, each outdoing the other in cleverness or cruelty. One of Us would be engaging the mind while the Other held the attention of the body. Switching back and forth, We commanded the complete and total attention of Our willing and ecstatic victim. If you have the leaning and have never experienced this, I highly recommend it, from any perspective.

I’ve been in Seattle for four years now and have been lucky to know some amazing people. The community here has open arms and minds, never judging and always educating. While it takes courage to get out there the first time, it would be difficult not to feel welcomed and accepted here. The majority of Players here realize the learning never stops and tend to lack the arrogance pervasive in other fetish communities. Many fetishists here are nationally recognized for their expertise. These people are valuable resources to all of us.

I am grateful for this opportunity to share my way of life with you. As always, Play well with one another…