Feb 2002

I have enjoyed my little romp through Neverland these past few months exploring the absurdities of the holidays as well as giving the old gods a bloody nose, and since the next few holidays are mere cultural pastimes of the nonlegal variety including a heart, a groundhog, and a lot of green beer, we’ll explore religion or lack thereof. I wanted to start going through all the fairly major religions from A to Z and since Animism is simply a belief that living beings have souls, that leaves us with Atheism. What is that you’re saying? "Atheism is not a religion" or are you saying, "Atheists worship Satan, don’t they?" Of course the answer is no. Just sit back and relax and let’s take a journey through this simple concept (a dirty word to some and strikes fear and anger in others).
Atheism, a simple idea where you take the word ‘Theism’ which means ‘a person who accepts the supernatural’ and you place an ‘A’ in front of it thereby nullifying it, as in amoral. For some reason Christians, especially those who write dictionaries, have to apply their own ideology and make it a personal offense. In my Microsoft Encarta, the definition for ‘Theism’ laughingly is: belief in God; belief that one God created and rules humans and the world.

How absurd. Religions have come by their bigotry honestly. They may talk about morals, but how is it all right for a Deity to kill people and no one else can? Simple discrimination is what’s in store for those of us who call ourselves Atheists, freethinkers, humanists, skeptics, and so on. Every time we use money, we’re forced to pay homage to a Deity in the form of ‘In God We Trust’ which became our national motto in 1956 (thanks to the Christian Commy haters). And if we’re feeling a little patriotic, we have to pray yet again by saying the Pledge of Allegiance, which was amended in 1955 (same reason) with ‘Under God’ added. And don’t forget about State and Local governments forcing the children at schools to say it; it’s just as unconstitutional as forced prayer and Bible reading was. If you go to court and are sworn in, most Christians will throw the old ‘So Help You God’ down your throat. Even though it says in the Constitution that no one should have to take a religious litmus test, they force us to ask for a secular oath. If you’re like me when you go home for the ‘holidays’ (I go for the food), dear old grandma can’t help herself in trying to force me to say grace. I happily decline and tell her what a nut job she is (sometimes). But these are simple annoyances that will in time come to an end as religions slowly shrivel up and die out just like the thousands before them.

Unlike structured religions with their praise this, hate that, and don’t eat that hogwash, Atheism has no rituals or guidelines to follow. It’s simply no supernatural beliefs and because of that, atheists come in all shapes and sizes as well as a plethora of other beliefs. There are racists, bigots, Gothic dead eaters, evil capitalists, gentle housewives, and good Boy Scouts etc... Just like “religious” people, there are both good and bad, even though understanding why gods don’t exist takes some intelligence it cannot make up for prejudices and misunderstandings.

I look at it like steps on stairs; at the bottom you’re just like every other Joe who comes along basically ignorant. But just take one step up the stairs of logic and your world begins to change, you have conquered one of your fears. It could be realizing homosexuality starts in the genes, or realizing that prayer is an inner imagination, not a external force. Whatever the case may be, each step up the stairs of logic and reason opens up the whole new understanding of life. Not all of us can make that journey, for I have come to realize that intelligence is a hereditary trait and some people just might not be getting on that train anytime soon. Yes there are stupid people, a lot of them, who question nothing and never care to learn anything even remotely informing. But there are those of us who do, scattered and few, but our numbers are growing. As an atheist I feel that freedom is the most important thing we have and I would never ban religion or force people to think a certain way.

So if you’re saying to yourself, "I think I’m an atheist, how do I become strong in ways of the force like you?" Don’t worry, young padawan, the master has some simple tips to help you along your path to heathendom. One of the most important things that all atheists eventually are drawn to is science, that vast body of knowledge that skeptically calls out in the night. The scientific method gives us a reasonable way to understand our world without interjecting our own beliefs. Even though I have heard many remarks alleging you cannot study religion in science, I have come to realize this is not entirely true. I have come across a simple observation that will answer that annoying question, "How do I know for sure that the supernatural world is bullshit?"

All life on this planet is made up of cells which require nutrients, in essence eating other beings to survive, a very barbaric creation for a God, don’t you think? By working together, cells have formed multi-cellular partnerships, unknowingly creating consciousness, giving us our reality. But being fragile creatures, if any damage occurs to our organs that our cells cannot repair, we will die. What we call life is nothing more than what our cells create for us. The same rules apply to ghosts and gods. As far as we know, the only evidence of life has been through cells; for a God to exist he/she is bound by the same rules as everything else. If man was created in God’s image, what does God do with his penis? It’s very strange for a Deity to be a mammal.

If you ask yourself who created all of these crazy ideas, the answer becomes very obvious: humans. We have a huge imagination and ancient man had plenty of time on his hands to dream up all sorts of silliness. Ancient man’s arrogance made it easy for him to make Gods, Angels, Devils, and ghosts (no dinosaur ghosts?) in the form of a man to entertain himself. I hope this has been a little helpful and remember we are all born in a prison we cannot smell, taste, or touch: a prison of our mind.